the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Randomize
