STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
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