I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
You can't motorboat a personality
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
