I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
