using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
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