What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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