I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
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