im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
someone owes me an orgasm
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
My dick has a subreddit
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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