At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Randomize
