I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
