you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
