very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
