im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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