so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
