WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
