Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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