How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
