make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Randomize
