Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Randomize
