weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
