i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
