he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
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