My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
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