I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
