I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Randomize
