When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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