his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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