if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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