Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
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