it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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