I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
