We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Randomize
