YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Randomize
