bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Randomize
