If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize
