Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I touched a dick in church today
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
