i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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