so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
