we're blogging at a bar
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
i wish my penis had a tongue
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
