I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I could have mohawked her pubes.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
no you cant smoke seaweed
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
