We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
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