This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
