When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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