Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Randomize
