You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
i dont even know how to be here
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Randomize
