I never want to see another naked old woman again.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
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