Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Someone shattered a urinal.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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