So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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