I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
