we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
