This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
50% drunk capacity currently
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
