I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
