I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Randomize
