i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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