why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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